Top ten things that happened in 2006

Naturally, my wedding ruled so I refuse to put that on the list. It wouldn't be fair to the other awesome happenings:

10. New car. Say goodbye to the blue bomber folks. The blue 1992 Geo Storm has finally been laid to rest. After one round trip to Ohio with four people, no shocks and several car accidents it was time to shoot the perverbial horse. Hello JEEP!

9. Quitting smoking, it's this far down because it sucked so bad. Now it rules because I'm running and I really like running. (See all running blogs)

8. Courtney Smith catching the bouquet at my wedding (indeed to be the next married in 07) and proceeding to pulverise the $80.00 bunch of flowers within seconds whilst making another wedding guest take pictues of her modeling with it. Best wedding guest EVER!

7. Getting rid of all of the friends that treated me like shit and were incapable of being friends in 2006. See you later suckers! Good luck with AA Cindy.

6. Post wedding, near suicide deppression.

5. You know who you are number 5. Very insulting number 5!

4. Listening to Dubious the wonder kitty lick plastic bags all night, every night. We get to do the VONS Bag Round Up, sounds like fun. Kids, you can do it at home too!

3. The look on the Weight Watchers leaders' face when a 350 lb woman announced she completed the Rock and Roll Marathon and congratulated herself with In and Out Burger. Naturally the leader asked, " Didn't you feel like it wasn't worth it when you finished the burger?" To which the reply was, " It was totally worth every bite!" I love honesty. You should have seen the damage control at that meeting.

2. Realizing I have an immunity to Hepatitis. I gained this immunity by rolling around in piss at WalMart (see The Sports Bra Incident), getting pissed on the Trolly and having a hobo piss directly on my shoes. Yes, while on my feet. Remember I am only 5'3" fighting back is not worth risking my beautiful face. Plus now I have an immunity to hepatitis and West Nile!

1. The look on Brandons face when he opened the bathroom door and I was sitting in the bathtub crying because I was scared of stingrays at 3:00 a.m., on our honeymoon. We were leaving in a mere few hours to go on a very expensive boat tour of Stingray City and other beaches. $400.00. I went. I screamed. The pictures are terrifying.

The things I didn't know before, I do.

The best part of being married to Brandon is that everyday I find out something new. For example last weekend to battle my raging hangover I suggested breakfast at IHOP. Yes, I consistanly bitch about the weight I've gained since the wedding, but this was a hangover. The kind of hangover that makes you barf at the taste of your own hangover breath. This was serious.
Before breakfast came, that magic time between empty barfy stomach and the ease of grease, Brandon could tell I was struggling so he asked if I had any good scar stories.
"Nope, no good scars, I'm to scared to get scars. What about you ?"
Good thing I asked. He was desperatly looking at me as if my crappy scars don't matter and only he can be the scar master in this family. To which I say fine, SCAR MASTER IS YOURS.

"See this, (holds out index finger) I got this scar (which just looks like a crease in his finger, but I buy it. Believe me no one else would brag about this) from breaking a beer bottle over my head in school"
By school he means UC Davis, which is where Brandon went to torture the staff and students alike for 5 years.
(Disgusted) "Brandon, why would you break a beer bottle over your head?"
"I don't know, but I ran all the way home with it wrapped in a towel. It was really bleeding."
"What kind of beer?" (As if this actually matters)
"Actually it was an Alize bottle"
"That makes this story worse, don't tell people about tha!t." (Who the hell brought Alize to the frat party. Ghetto Sacramento asshole.)
"I didn't drink any."
" HUMMM, O.K."
Our breakfast continued very nicely. But I swear everytime I get mad at Brandon for something. I just think of what he must have looked like while breaking an Alize bottle over his head and then promptly running out of a party. I can't stop laughing. I also don't know if I'm sad I didn't know him in school or if I'm really happy I didn't know him then.
Thank you sweetheart for making my hangover breakfast better.