Day 14 and the West Nile VIrus

Day 14 and my two month- a- versary, I can hardly contain my excitement.

What is day 14, you ask? 14 days without a cigarette. One day for every year I've smoked, no less. I can almost even swear it hasn't been that hard. I think I've quit harder things before. Maybe that's the Nicorette talking? Seriously, it's been relatively easy. I don't even want it anymore. What I want is to kick Brandon's ass in another race. That has proved to be all the motivator I need. Let's get real here, it's the only sport I'll ever beat him at. ( For the time being) Our competitive household will probably be Olympic medalists before we're done trying to be better than one another in sports. Healthy.

This first two months of marriage has been a blast. It's so fun having your buddy around all the time. (creepy) Since it was my two month-a-versary today and because I was home ill, I decided to go to the Social Security office to change my name. First of all, what a spectacular place, the SS office. I've been to more exciting and cheerier funerals. After an hour my number was called, I presented my paperwork and the clerk told me my new name:
"wasn't going to work" (exact words).
"what's wrong with it?" (imagine my sarcasm and attitude after an hour wait. All I needed was for this guy to snap his fingers when he said it just didn't work)
"to long. Oh wait, your first name is Sara-Ann right?"
( This was when I busted out my very impressive "oh hell no" look)
"NO"
"well, we have Sara-Ann T. Jones If you want to make your maiden name your middle name and Ann and T. are your middle names, that is to many." ( Sara Ann T. Jones Ratliff)
I promise, for only one second I thought about Sara-Ann. She must be southern. I bet she cooks grits and wears an apron too. No thank you.
" Just drop the T."
" So your name will be Sara Ann Jones Ratliff?"
"yep." (insert any dramatic sigh here)

I'm being dramatic, but I really miss the T. The T. really gave Sara Jones some zing! Social Security is now on my list. The list is getting long.

So I've been home for two days sick. Lame. I can't watch Montel anymore because I don't care that people don't know who their Babby Daddy is. Angelina Jolie has a Babby Daddy, it can't be that bad. I went to the doctor on Wednesday night. I self diagnosed West Nile Virus earlier in the day, which only put my mild cold into a major downward spiral. I thought I might die.
Such a sweet family practitioner examined me. Brandon came in the room with me, which I thought was very nice. She asked my symptoms: Nausea, Diarrhea, Aches, Headache, Exhaustion followed by insomnia.
" I think I might have West Nile Virus." ( I can't even believe I was able to look her in the eye and not laugh. Brandon however started laughing)
She said: " It's a possibility. Can you move your head to the right and left? ( I complied) If you had West Nile you wouldn't be able to do that, but if you want to find out I can send you to the lab for a spinal tap."
"maybe later, if I get worse."
"Could you be pregnant?" (STOP THE PRESSES!)
At the same time I say " Oh god no." Brandon blurts out "Not Yet!"
The look of utter disappointment at our lack of communication fills the room. I shoot Brandon a look.
"Are you taking pre-natal vitamins?"
"NO!"
" You should. Your (looks at my chart) 29? Your peek fertility years are between 23 and 24." ( Should I be offended?)
Now I really think I'm going to throw up. Not only do I obviously have West Nile Virus but I'm drying up!
"I think you have Viral Syndrome, which is flu without the fever. Your on bed rest for two days. You should really take the vitamins"
Is viral syndrome physical or mental?

Back to today. I went to Target after Social Security, tired of being at home and I felt like I needed to buy something truly crappy to make myself feel better. I grabbed a cart and went down every aisle. When I got to the vitamin aisle I broke into a cold sweat. I called Brandon to make one last plea about the vitamins. He has gotten very good at tuning out the drama queen. (curses!)
Maternal Sara kicked in and I couldn't figure out which of the three different brands I should get. I bought all three. I will report on the effects of each.

So I've completely caved.

To leave you without any doubts... I'm not pregnant. I'm not going to be pregnant any time soon. Even better, I got a sweet Bon Jovi shirt at Target. Don't be jealous!